Using extended similes to elaborate and add style

Students will analyze a series of extended similes, develop criteria for strong and weak extended similes, and begin using extended similes as a tool for elaboration in their own writing.

A lesson plan for grade 10 English Language Arts

By Jennifer Smyth

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Learning outcomes

Students will:

• identify and analyze an extended simile.
• develop and apply criteria for judging the strength or weakness of an extended simile.
• develop their own extended similes, using them as a tool for elaboration.

Teacher planning

Time required for lesson

90 Minutes

Materials/resources

• Jamaica Kincaid’s Annie John
• Eight or nine View-Masters, with slides (Teachers should feel free to modify by reducing the number of View-Masters, asking students to bring them from home, or choosing an alternate text to work with)
• Extended Simile handout
• Lyrics and recording of Garth Brooks’ “The River”
• A previously submitted essay for each student

Technology resources

• CD Player (optional)
• Overhead or LCD Projector

Pre-activities

Students may have read the first chapter of Jamaica Kincaid’s Annie John, “Figures in the Distance,” prior to the lesson. If Annie John is not available, this lesson would also work well with excerpts from other works that contain extended similes, such as Homer’s Iliad or Virgil’s Aeneid.

Activities

Mini-lesson

1. Pass out View-Masters, asking students to share the View-Masters in groups of four.
2. Ask students to take turns looking through the View-Masters, first with both eyes open, then with one eye closed. Ask students to be brief and refrain from “hogging” the View-Master.
3. Ask students to write a sentence or two explaining the difference between looking through the View-Master with one eye and looking with two eyes.
4. Ask for volunteers to share their explanations, writing the sentences on the overhead or typing them for display on the LCD projector.
5. Ask students to share their assessments of the strengths of each explanation. Replies may include strengths such as clarity, level of detail, thoroughness, etc.
6. Ask for a volunteer to read aloud the following passage, on page 11 of Annie John:
   
   “Lying there dead, she looked the same, except her eyes were closed and she was so still. I once had heard someone say about another dead person that it was as if the dead person were asleep. But I had seen a person asleep, and this girl did not look asleep. My parents had just bought me a View-Master. The View-Master came with pictures of the pyramids, the Taj Mahal, Mt. Everest, and scenes of the Amazon River. When the View-Master worked properly, all the scenes looked as if they were alive, as if we could just step into the View-Master and sail down the Amazon River or stand at the foot of the pyramids. When the View-Master didn’t work properly, it was as if we were looking at an ordinary, colorful picture. When I looked at this girl, it was as if the View-Master wasn’t working properly.”
7. Discuss this passage with students, asking questions like:
• What is Jamaica Kincaid explaining in this passage?
• What literary convention does she use in this explanation?
• Why do you think she uses this simile? What purpose does it serve?
• How does the simile help her to elaborate on her explanation?
• Is this a good comparison? How do you know?
8. Share the following “Bad Suspense Novel Simile” with students:
   
   “There was something funny about the kidnapping crime scene that Special Agent Frievald couldn’t quite place, and the thought stuck with him throughout the rest of the day, like those tiny little bits of the circumferent skin from the bologna slices on a foot-long Subway Cold Cut Trio that get stuck in between the last two molars on the upper left, on the tongue side where you can’t possibly reach them with a toothpick, your fingernails, or even a systematically straightened paper clip, they just sit there and make everything you eat at your next meal taste vaguely like vinegar and mayonnaise, and then somehow — quietly but miraculously — they disappear by themselves in the middle of the night while you’re asleep, just like the visiting Countess appeared to have done.”
9. Discuss this passage with students, asking questions like:
• Is the comparison in this simile appropriate? Explain.
• Does the comparison help the writer to elaborate on their idea? Is this elaboration appropriate?
• What makes this simile so bad?

Guided Practice

10. Explain to students that the class will need to develop criteria for strong and weak extended similes. In order to do that, it’s necessary to look at strong and weak examples.
11. Pass out the handout, which includes a “strong” extended simile (Note: due to copyright restrictions, teachers will need to find and add the lyrics to the first stanza and chorus of Garth Brooks’ “The River” to the handout) and the following “weak” extended simile:
    “My life is like a ship. It bobs and it flows. Sometimes it runs up on a sandbar. Eventually, it will sink.”
12. Ask students to work in groups of four (perhaps the View-Master sharing groups) to read the two examples, determine which is “strong” and which is “weak,” and develop criteria for determining “strength” and “weakness” and be prepared to share with the class. Allow students ten minutes to complete this task.
13. Ask each group to share one of the formal criteria that their group developed, posting the criteria on the blackboard, overhead or LCD projector. If “elaborate,” “detailed,” and “focused” aren’t on the list of criteria students offer, teachers may want to consider adding those criteria to the list.
14. Ask students to apply these criteria in writing their own extended simile about life. Allow students 5-10 minutes to complete this activity.
15. Ask for volunteers to share their similes, posting them on the blackboard, overhead, or LCD projector. Ask students to verbally “judge” each volunteer simile by applying the criteria.

Independent Practice

16. Pass out copies of previously submitted student essays to the appropriate students. If writing portfolios are available, ask students to choose an essay from their portfolio.
17. Ask students to find a section of their essay, perhaps an example in a body paragraph, that needs more elaboration.
18. Ask students to brainstorm a simile that might work with this section of their essay. If students are having difficulty, ask them to conference with a partner to brainstorm possibilities.
19. Ask students to revise this section of their essay for homework to include the simile they brainstormed in class.

Closure

Have students write down the criteria for “strong” extended similes in their notes.Remind students to apply the criteria for “strong” and “weak” extended similes in adding their own similes to their essays.Allow time for questions, if needed.

Assessment

Allow students to exchange papers and evaluate each other’s work using the criteria for “strong” and “weak” similes they developed in class. Teachers may want to develop a formal rubric using these criteria, or they may prefer a less formal form of assessment, perhaps a letter from the reader to the writer assessing the strength of the simile/elaboration.

Supplemental information

If teachers are interested in reading more about using literature to teach grammar and writing skills, they may want to see Deborah Dean’s article “Grammar without Grammar: Just Playing Around, Writing” in the November 2001 issue of English Journal.

Comments

The “Bad Suspense Novel Simile” from this lesson was from Top Twenty Bad Suspense Novel Metaphors or Similes. Some of these are inappropriate for class use.

This lesson was created as part of the NCDPI Writing Lessons for Writing Features Workshop.
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