Try to see it my way; I'll try to see it yours

This lesson includes guided class discussion and a hands-on activity demonstrating the importance of clear communication in avoiding misunderstanding and conflict. Students use wooden blocks in a building activity that allows them to actually experience the difference in their own and another student's perception and understanding of verbal building instructions.

A lesson plan for grades 9–12 Guidance

By Karen Osborne-Rowland

Learn more

• The Mediation Center The Mediation Center is based in Buncombe County and helps enhance relationships through positive conflict resolution.

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Related topics

• Learn more about active listening, character education, communication, conflict resolution, cooperative learning, guidance, and hands-on.

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Learning outcomes

Students will:

• learn that what they perceive may not be what someone else perceives about the same conversation, event, etc.
• learn that it is important to check assumptions, rather than to presume to understand.
• describe a situation in their own lives where this understanding might be helpful in preventing or resolving conflict.

Teacher planning

Time required for lesson

1.5 hours

Materials/resources

• A classroom with desks and chairs for all students, where students are able to move desks to create different configurations.
• A chalkboard or easel to display ideas shared during brainstorming and discussion period.
• An understanding of the basics of Active Listening to be used in discussion.
• An understanding of the various ways in which we communicate, both verbally and non-verbally.
• A set of Pattern Blocks, or some other differently colored and shaped building blocks. You need at least 10 blocks and 5 colors for each student.
• A writing tool for each student.
• A copy of the Student Survey for each student

Technology resources

Computer with internet access (optional)

Pre-activities

Prior to the hands-on activity, lead a discussion on types of communication and good listening skills. This serves to get the students thinking about their own lives and the ways in which communication skills affect their relationships in a wide variety of settings.

• Brainstorming Activity: What does it mean to communicate? (Students generally mention television, e-mail, radio, print media, etc.) Discussion might then lead to one-way versus two-way communication. (Is one-way communication REALLY communication?)
• Students also usually refer to verbal and non-verbal communication. If they do not, guide the discussion to include this topic.
• What are some ways we communicate verbally?
• What are some ways we communicate non-verbally?
• Emphasize to students that MOST communication actually occurs non-verbally. It is often non-verbal communication that leads to the greatest misunderstanding. It is not what we say, but HOW we say it.
• Ask students what it means to be a good listener? What are some things to DO to become a better listener. (Review the steps of Active Listening)
• Ask students if they have ever experienced a situation where they said something and the other person completely misunderstood what they meant. (My experience has been that almost every student excitedly raises a hand. You can solicit stories from various students, which will generally cover a wide array of situations, e.g. family, peer, coworker.) Some questions to ask:
  • What was the situation?
  • What happened as a result of the misunderstanding?
  • What might have prevented the misunderstanding?
  • How do you feel when someone misunderstands you?
  • What do you do?

Activities

1. Have students divide into groups of three by having them move their desks so that students are back-to-back. Explain that they are going to participate in an activity that will heighten their awareness of the importance of good communication and listening skills.
2. Distribute a set of 10 blocks, 2 of each of the 5 colors, to each student. Each student should have an identical set. The counselor should have an identical set also.
3. Explain to students that you are going to build something with your blocks, but that they will not be able so see what you are doing. Explain that in this round they will be following your instructions but they can ask no questions, and you will not repeat any instructions. You are the Speaker, they are the Listeners.
4. Position yourself so that students can not see your building surface. Now build a structure with your blocks while describing, very generally, what you are doing. Students are to follow your instructions. For example: Put your red block on top of your green block. Do NOT explain what you mean by on-top, over, above, etc. This will be one of the misunderstandings students experience.
5. When you are finished, show your structure to the students. Most likely, yours will look very different from theirs!
6. Now have one of the students in each threesome become the Speaker, while the other two Listeners try to follow his/her instructions. These instructions should also be very general. Again, Listeners cannot ask questions. If they do, the Speaker should simply remind them that no questions are allowed on this round. Listeners will begin to feel frustrated!
7. Allow the students to move about the room observing the Speakers’ structures and comparing them to those of the Listeners.
8. Ask Listeners how they feel, what is frustrating about not being able to ask questions, what would make it easier. Students begin to understand the importance of asking for clarification, and the tendency to make incorrect assumptions when this is not allowed.
9. For the next round, have a different student in each threesome provide building instructions for the other two. (This person is now the Speaker.) This time, listeners ARE allowed to ask for as much clarification as they need.
10. At the end of this round, again have students move around the room comparing the structures of Speakers and Listeners. Students should now see much more similar structures.
11. Students return to their seats. Conduct a general discussion on this experience, what was fun, frustrating, helpful. What did they observe about themselves? Why was the last round the easiest?
12. Distribute the questionnaire that asks questions about this experience and how students might apply what they have learned to their own lives.

Assessment

In final discussion: Observation of students’ increased understanding of the ways in which we communicate, and of the importance of clear communication in preventing misunderstanding and conflict.

Student response to questions on the Student Survey (attached).

Supplemental information

Materials on conflict resolution by:

The Mediation Center
189 College Street
Asheville, North Carolina 28801-3030
Phone (828) 251-6089 Fax (828) 232-5140

Comments

The exact number and colors of blocks specified in my lesson are not critical. You can adapt the lesson to use what you have. The lesson also often evolves as you go along, depending on what information students share in the discussion.
While this lesson directly addresses awareness of others’ perceptions, I have used it with many different age and ability groups, both as a classroom activity and for helping students who are already in conflict with one another. With younger students you might want to repeat the activity once more so that all students have an opportunity to build. It is lots of fun and very effective!