The control game

The control game is an experiential, hands on opportunity for students to explore their ideas about personal control and influence in their own lives and their control and influence in the lives of others.

A lesson plan for grades 6–8 Guidance

By Wendy Logan

Learn more

Related pages

• Creating community in the classroom: Part 3 (monitoring progress): This series of lessons is designed to help develop a sense of classroom community through use of group goal-setting, decision-making, brainstorming, peer feedback, positive reinforcement, and positive peer pressure. The lessons will help students create and maintain a supportive environment for learning. Part 1 focused on goal-setting process and practice. In Part 2, students applied knowledge of the goal-setting process and cooperatively created a plan to work on short-term group goals. In part 3, students will monitor the effects of their plan by determining whether short term goals are being achieved.
• Planned ignoring: This lesson introduces a part of a behavioral intervention plan which I have found to be indispensable across all subject areas with students with behavioral disabilities. It teaches specific behaviors that children need to display in order to remain on task when others around them "act out" and are disruptive.
• Assertiveness for students: This lesson will introduce middle school students to assertive behavior as a tool for dealing with disagreements or conflicts with others.

Related topics

• Learn more about character education, conflict resolution, control, guidance, and problem-solving.

Help

Please read our disclaimer for lesson plans.

Legal

Learning outcomes

Students will:

• discuss what they can and cannot control in their lives.
• recognize that different people feel they have different levels of control.
• state that they have more control over their own behavior than the behavior of others.
• state that they have more control over their own emotions than the emotions of others.
• differentiate between control and influence.

Teacher planning

Time required for lesson

55 minutes

Materials/resources

• Masking tape
• Two pieces of notebook paper with one labeled “No Control At All” and one labeled “Total Control”
• Approximately 10 foot wall with clear space to move from one end to another

Pre-activities

There are no specific activities that need to be done prior to this lesson. However, it is extremely useful to have had at least 3 or 4 classroom contacts with the students prior to this activity. This activity requires that the students be open minded to your suggestions.

Activities

1. Counselor tapes one control sign at one end of the wall and the other control sign at the other end.
2. Counselor begins by telling students that they will be playing a game today. The game is going to be about control. Ask students what it means if you have control. An example you might use is a remote control car. If you have control you determine where the car goes. You have power over the car’s actions. Write some of the student’s descriptions of control on the board.
3. Now it is time to play the game. Counselor tells the students that in order to play, students will need to listen carefully to the rules. The ground rules are:
   • There are no right or wrong answers. Throughout the game students will be encouraged to make opinions. Everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion.
   • You may always, at any time during the game, change your opinion. In fact, opinion changing is encouraged because it means you are thinking!
   • Whatever your opinion is, you need to be able to explain your perspective. That means when I ask you, “Why do you believe that?” “I don’t know,” is not an answer.
   • With the idea that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, when discussing your thoughts, please use the word “I” not “you” or “someone.”
   • This game is played in the “real world.” None of us is a millionaire or superhuman. Your response needs to be based on reality.
4. Now that we have covered the ground rules, I’ll tell you how we are going to play. I am going to call on four volunteers to come to the front of the room. I will read a 2-3 sentence scenario, one sentence at a time. After each sentence, you will decide if, in this particular situation, you have no control at all or total control or if you are somewhere in between. If you decide you have no control, where do you think you would stand? (Under the “No Control at All” sign.) And if you decide you have total control, where would you stand? (Under the “Total Control” sign). What if you thought you had a little control but not much control? Counselor continues until students understand the continuum between the two signs.
5. Then the counselor begins with an example with himself/herself being the person between the two signs. The example is:
   • “It is raining.” - Ask students where they would stand if they were between the two signs. A good paraphrase is: How much control do you have whether it rains or not? Most students should agree that in the real world, we have no control at all over whether it rains. So the counselor stands under the “No Control at All” sign.
   • “You get wet.” - How much control do you have over whether you get wet when it rains? Some students will say that they have no control at all over whether they get wet, especially if they are on their way to the bus or out in a field. Others may insist that they can always find a way to stay dry if they choose. This is a good opportunity to stress the ground rule that everyone has the right to have a different opinion. Some students may decide that this is when they would stay in the middle.
6. If students are still having difficulty with the concepts you may do other examples such as: You are 12. You have red hair.
7. Counselor tells the students it is now time to start the game. Choose 4 volunteers. Remind them that they are encouraged to change their minds and that you will be asking them questions. These questions do not mean you think they are wrong. The questions are designed to get them to think about their opinions.
8. I suggest doing the following scenarios in order because they build from simple to complex issues. For each new scenario, ask for 4 more volunteers.

Scenario #1

1. “Your best friend hates his parents.”
   • The counselor instructs students to choose a spot under or between the control signs. Then the counselor asks each student (even if they are all standing in the same area) why they chose their particular position.
   • If you have someone say that they can control how their friend feels about their parents, ask them how they control that. They may say they can control their friend by telling them that things will get better or that they used to feel the same way. The counselor can respond by saying, “And if your friend still chooses to hate his/her parents, can you control him or her?” Usually students will eventually acknowledge that they cannot control how someone else chooses to feel. As students change their stands, praise their courage to change their opinions.
2. “Your best friend runs away from home.”
   • Again ask the same students to choose where they want to stand. How much control do you have over this situation? This is a good opportunity to introduce “influence.” I’ve had students say “I could chain my friend to his bed until I can get his parents.” You might respond by asking, “If someone really wants to run away, can you really stop them?” Students will usually say after processing that they can influence their friends but they cannot control them.

Scenario #2

1. “Your mother loses her job.”
2. “Your mother feels unhappy.”
3. “Your family has less money.”

In this scenario, I have had many students who are adamant that they can control their parent’s emotions and behaviors. And, to be honest, I believe that for some students, this is probably true. But the point to make is that it is the parent’s choice to allow their children to control them. So one response can be, “If your parent really wanted to feel this way or wanted this to happen, would you have influence or control?” Sometimes it is helpful to do a role-play where you are the parent and you ask the student to play himself/herself. Then you ask the student to “control” the emotions of the parent. They might try to make you laugh or be extremely kind to you and I usually simply thank them and say, “You’re being really kind but I am still so upset about my job.” I also ask students if they have ever been in a really bad or happy mood that on one could really change.

Scenario #3

1. “You have big ears.”
2. “A kid in your class teases you.”
3. “You get angry.”
4. “You hit him.”

This is a good scenario to save until the middle because by this time students have the gist that the only person they can truly control is himself or herself and yet in this scenario, students hate to admit this. This is a good chance to refer to the earlier scenarios. Who did we say we could control? I sometimes use a fictitious name and ask, “If Brian hits you, did he choose to do this?” Oh yes, students usually say. So the question is - others can control their behavior, can you control yours? In the past I have had students say, “I can control someone if I hurt them bad enough.” I try to address this as a common myth about violence. Violence may make someone feel that they are in control but who still chooses what they do? The person himself/herself.

Scenario #4

1. You pay attention in class.
2. You are making A’s and B’s.
3. You don’t pay attention in class.
4. You are failing.

For students who say they cannot control if they pay attention or not, I ask them, “If I told you that I have a hundred dollar bill for anyone who pays attention to me for the remainder of the lesson.” This gets them every time. “I can! I can!” So who chooses whether you pay attention?

The final step of this lesson is to verbally review (with the assessment tool below) what has been learned or discovered about control. Then ask students if they would agree that if you can control something, can you change it? And if you can change or influence something, do you have some responsibility in the situation? A good example is if a student sees someone being teased. Do you have a “responsibility” to help because you can influence the outcome?

Assessment

Students will be able to answer the following questions:

• Who controls your behavior? (I do)
• Who controls your feelings? (I do)
• Are you more likely to control others or influence them? (Influence them)

Supplemental information

Comments

Certainly this lesson can be easily tailored to specific group or classroom needs. You may want to choose particular students for particular scenarios that fit them. I always make sure that I choose volunteers because you are asking them to defend their opinions. Additionally, I try to choose a diversity of student personalities each time so that I don’t end up with 4 impulsive students for one scenario and 4 honor roll students for another. This gives a broader perspective for the audience.

Of all the activities I do, this is one of the favorites for teachers and students. The key is really in the processing and as you do the lesson more often, you will become better at helping students process.