The writer establishes and maintains a tight focus on the central theme. Nicely developed personal anecdotes help sustain reader interest, and effective clincher sentences restate each paragraph’s central idea while also adding a sophisticated level of self-reflection. The third body paragraph is not as focused as the others. The conclusion restates the central focus but could be revised for more originality.

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What makes a "good parent?" As a child with both a mother and a father, I have my opinion on what it takes to be considered a "good" mom or a "good" dad. A "good" parent must discipline their children. They also need to spend time with them, and they need to support their kids.


Discipline plays a big role in being a parent. If you do not discipline your children, they will not learn right from wrong. For example, when I was about three years old, I stole some candy from the store because my mom wouldn’t buy me any. Of course, I didn’t know what I was doing, but my mother made me return the candy and did not allow me to have any candy for the rest of the week. My punishment upset me, but I did learn that stealing was wrong, and I never did it again. By disciplining your children, you can also earn their respect. They will learn that when you say no, you mean it: just like the incident with the candy. Not only did I learn that stealing was wrong, but also learned that when my mother said no, she meant it.


Another factor in "good" parenting is spending time with your children. When you spend time with your kids, it lets them know that they are important to you. Sometimes in our hectic lives, it seems as though we don’t have time for our family. However, nothing means more to a child than a parent taking time out of their busy schedule to spend time with them. I remember one time when I was about ten, and I wanted to go to a Dixie Chicks concert so bad I could taste it. My dad had surprised me and bought tickets, but two days before the concert his boss informed him that they were going to a dinner party hosted by one of their clients. I was so disappointed. My dad knew how much the concert meant to me, so he called his boss and told him that he had a prior commitment. I was so ecstatic! But the thing that meant the most to me was that he was willing to get in trouble with his boss, just to take me to a concert. It was then that I began to realize that I was the most important thing in his life, and that he loved me more than he could ever express.


The last key to being a "good parent" is to support your kids. Let them know that you are behind them 100 percent. As an athlete, I know it means a lot when you look up in the stands and see your parents cheering you on. But not only should support them in their activities, you should also support them in life. When your kids are feeling a little blue, give them a shoulder to cry on, and help get them going again. Be happy when they’re happy and let them know that no matter what they do, you will always be there for them.


These are the qualities that it takes to be a good parent. Discipline your children, spend time with them, and give them your support. By doing this, you will show how much you love them; and when they look back on their childhood they will be able to say, "My parents were great parents!"